Loving The Colour Yellow
Being okay with transience.
Eight years ago, the two colours I hated the most were yellow and orange. No one could tell me different.
I hated the way they shouted out and sought selfishly for attention. In my mind, it disrupted my attention and sometimes the harmony of what I was looking at.
I also wondered why some could dare say it was their best colour — such atrocity.
As far as I was concerned my mind was made up. A person like me — being an introvert bordering on reclusive — would only ever have affinity for royal colours like purple and red, and dark colours like blue and black.
Fast forward to today and I am desperately in love with these colours; their warmth and the way it brings light into a place and into your heart.
But with yellow especially.
Yellow gave off radiance which was simply beautiful.
And I thought about all those years I thought I would never change, until I changed without realization.
One of the hardest things to change are a man’s belief, as they are the foundation on which a person’s life, mode of living, and reactions are built. The result is most times, finding out one has been swindled at something so fundamental can be soul crushing.
Indeed it is meant to be soul crushing because if you really had been subscribing to a belief which no longer served you, in some way you had been denying the mini crushes you experienced everyday which mount to become one huge soul crushing moment.
What one can change however is the acceptance that in a lifetime there will be many moments like this, life wasn’t meant to be lived in stagnancy. But in continuous fluid motion. With this acceptance comes recognition of mini soul-crushing moments of change which better us and contribute to our growth.
We hold on and we let go.
We learn and we unlearn.
We become and we unravel.
We build and break down.
We create and destroy.
Sometimes all it takes is this recognition that these changes will happen, are happening and are perfectly okay even as they are perfectly happening.
We let go essentially, of our need for a particular outcome so as not to seem like we do not have ourselves figured out, or like we do not know what we are saying, doing or where we are headed.
You didn’t come with a manual and realising that the very essence of life is change and evolution, increases appreciation for each stage and moment as it is happening, right in that moment.